Ignore the lack of posts for a year, thanks!
TL;DR of my life since: graduated college, became even more of a communist dirtbag, threw away childish things like OZMA and the idea that your musical idols are good people, became obsessed with Rilo Kiley. Not much else.
I started writing a diary, physically, in the time in between. I actually was far more successful in keeping things consistent there. Unfortunately, it seems as if writing it was a bad omen because nearly immediately after I started the united states invaded Iran. Now as I write this, we seem to be on the advent of an invasion of Cuba. I sincerely hope this does not happen again. Death to imperialism, as always.
A year ago I wrote I hoped things would get better, that a trend of things continually getting worse would "reverse". That has clearly not occurred. Things are awful now. I will not say anything to jinx it like last time, but I will say I stand in solidarity with all those trying to make things better. A better world is possible: a world without imperialism, zionism, racism, transphobia/transmisogny, and all the other evils that have infected us under the diagnosis of capitalism. We just have to fight for it.
This post is not just intended to revive this blog and talk about how everything sucks right now, however. I actually had something really cool and meaningful happen to me that I wanted to write about.
Earlier this month I got back into contact with an old friend of mine from middle school. I had not seen this person in eight years, but thought of them often and decided one day I was tired of just wondering what they were up to. I followed their Instagram, fully expecting no response, but to my surprise they immediately got back to me and sent me a message. We continued talking and eventually set up a date to hang out and catch up. That was Sunday.
I was incredibly anxious going to see them. What seemed likely was something incredibly awkward, some sort of short interaction where we briefly discussed being pre-teens before sitting in silence for an hour and going home. I've never been happier to be wrong. From the moment I got into their car it felt as if no time had passed at all. In fact, it felt even more natural to talk to them then then it ever did as a teenager. We got lunch, walked around the city (including going to a cool comic shop) and just talked about life, memories, and what we're into now. Happily enough, much of it is quite similar! It's really cool being able to talk about Fanon with someone you have vivid memories of talking about Yuri On Ice with. I am happy to report they are among the sickest people I have ever met :)
What fascinates me about all this is the fact that we are essentially strangers. We had no contact between 2018 and 2026. Outside of a meager two years, our lives were entirely separate. Yet because those two years happened to be two of the most vulnerable years in any one's life, we are forever bonded in some weird fucked up way. That's crazy to me. It's also crazy to me that they vividly remembered me. Which I suppose it shouldn't be, since I remembered them, but I somehow never even considered that possibility.
It also just feels good. I left the 7-12 school I went to middle school at because we couldn't afford to continue going. I intentionally distanced myself from those I was friends with in the aftermath. I guess I thought that would lessen the pain from not being able to see people I thought of as friends. Clearly it didn't work, I just ended up constantly ruminating on this time of my life and what these people were up to. To be able to hang out with an old friend like this feels like giving 14 year old me a bit of closure. I wonder if my friend felt similarly, they told me every couple of years they'd wonder where I was.
I keep thinking of Everything Stays, from Adventure Time. We talked about Adventure Time early in our meet-up, as we were walking to the coffee shop we got food at. My friend talked about how they had watched the series in full during their second year of college, and how it had deeply emotionally affected them. It's message that growing up sucks hits hard when you are actively being essentially thrown out of your youth. We are two incredibly different people now that that's occurred. They found themselves, I'm still trying to do the same. Yet despite all that, here we were. Two people laughing their asses off about fandom culture and middle school memories as if it was 2017 and the only things we needed to care about were Tumblr and when the next episode of Steven Universe was coming on. It's funny how things work out.
I hope we continue to stay in touch, even if just through text. I don't know what the future holds but it would suck if it takes another near-decade to see them in person.
Everything stays right where you left it
Everything stays, but it still changes
Song of (that) Day: Olivia Olson - Everything Stays